Spirit Watching Part I - First, Conquer Fear
Learning to See Ghosts, Earth Spirits and Others - by Catherine Espara FacebookRead Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Too Scared to Move
I suppose we all react to a surge of terror in different ways. For me, I just can’t move. I’m paralyzed. I find myself holding my breath as if to be so quiet and motionless that I might become invisible myself. I don’t scream. I don’t run.
As a child, I wondered if I dared to look at what was causing my terror. I was afraid on so many levels as I unwittingly began this journey of discovery. I remember lying in bed, quivering under the covers—barely able to breathe and praying for protection from this evil.
Ghost in the Farmhouse
In 1961, my family moved to an old farmhouse in Kansas. The land around our property was mostly flat, with creeks running through shallow gorges etched into the sloping banks on an otherwise featureless landscape. Rows of corn, milo and alfalfa grew along both sides of the straight road extended for a mile in all four directions. Osage hedgerows sketched fields and farms with dark green borders.
The weathered two-story farmhouse fronted sagging outbuildings and a large barn making up the main homesite. Near the driveway, a shrub-lined walkway led to an iron hand pump centered on a concrete slab. Just beyond was a house built sometime in the 19th century by men who also built a barn with beams fitted with wooden pegs and angled inserts. They forged and hammered square nails to use in the horse stalls and sliding doors.
My awakening to the phenomena of the ghost haunting the farmhouse was progressive over the years we lived there. It’s hard to remember the first experience exactly. I do remember my uncontrollable quivering as I lay awake, cowering in a tight fetal position under the covers in my bedroom at the end of the upstairs hallway. It was always very late at night while everyone in the family was asleep.
Chapter 1 – Continued…
These frightful experiences always began in the same way. I climbed to the midpoint of the stairway and paused to lean over the banister to utter my goodnights to the family. Carrying my cat, I ascended the final steps in the bedtime routine.
On a few nights of the year, my cat would suddenly begin a desperate struggle to free himself from my arms just as we crested the floor of the second level of the house. That cat would stop nothing short of clawing and growling as he slipped from my grasp and raced to a hiding place in some unknown corner of the kitchen pantry. I was bewildered by my pet’s behavior and felt hurt rather than alarmed.
Feeling nothing unusual otherwise, I snuggled into my bed, lights out, peacefully drifting into sleep. Then, on some nights, something caused me to awaken when there was nothing there at all. Over time, I noticed that the cat’s odd behavior seemed to precede these eerie awakenings during the night.
Having been suddenly awakened by what seemed to be nothing at all, I naturally opened my eyes to see if anything was there. The feeling in the room was different on these nights. I remember my heart pounding, goosebumps prickling on my arms, my mind racing with justifications and explanations as I tried to extinguish the rush of sensation. Breathless, I felt uncommon alertness that could only accompany some notion of fright or impending doom. I was frightened, and I didn’t know why.
Motionless, I strained my ears to listen for a clue to suddenly having been awakened. The feelings were so powerful that I covered my head and shook uncontrollably under the blankets. Holding in my breath and squeezing my eyes shut, I went right to the source every time. “Oh God, protect me from evil, protect me from evil,” I prayed with all my conviction.
And . . . eventually, I would fall back to sleep.
Have you had your own experience of ghostly phenomena or something else you’d like to share? Comment below. I’d love to hear from you.
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Loving this book, and looking forward to the Part II…